Getting those Wedding Right
So, your wedding is fast approaching and you’re spending all your spare time planning the wedding theme, floral arrangements and styling details, but what about one of the most important details of all – your wedding vows?
Writing your own wedding vows is such a powerful way to solidify your commitment to your partner, but it can also be a real challenge. Whether you’ve got a natural way with words or not, many people struggle to find the right words they’re looking for to convey the essence of their relationship. Finding the perfect blend of words to capture how you feel about your partner while also creating a speech that’s funny, engaging and moving is no easy feat, but we’ve come up with some tips to help take the pressure off.
Talk to your fiancée first to decide on a format
Before you start stressing about writing your vows, sit down with your fiancée and have a chat about the style of vows you would like to create. Decide on a tone and format first. For example, do you want the vows to be humorous, or would you prefer they were straight up romantic? Do you want to include personal anecdotes about your relationship, or keep them traditional? Some couples even choose to write their vows together, so discuss your preferences and come to an agreement before you put pen to paper.
Use other people’s vows for inspiration
The internet is a treasure trove of wedding related tips, so take advantage of this infinite resource and read other people’s wedding vows for inspiration. A quick Google search will provide access to thousands of pages of wedding vow inspiration, providing examples of traditional vows, romantic vows, funny vows and everything in-between. For further inspiration, ask married friends if they’ll let you read their wedding vows, or watch your favourite wedding scenes in TV shows and movies.
Think of the promises you want to make
One of the great things about writing your own wedding vows is that you have the power to make the promises that matter to you. Think of the things you value above all else in your relationship and single those values out for inclusion in your vows. Add some general promises, such as, “I promise to always be here for you,” along with some promises that are exclusive to your relationship, such as, “I promise to always leave the last Tim Tam for you.” This is a great opportunity to solidify the things that really matter in your marriage, while also having a bit of fun and adding some personal touches.
Consider some of these vows:
- I promise to always encourage…
- I promise that together we’ll….
- I promise to treat you…
- I promise to love you when…
Tips to get you started
Once you’ve got an idea of the format you want to follow for your wedding vows and the promises you want to make, getting started is the hardest part. We’ve put together a few helpful starting points to help fight off writer’s block when writing your wedding vows, simply finish these sentences:
- The first time I saw you…
- I first knew I loved you when….
- Because of you, the world…
- When I think about our future…
- You make me…
- I can’t believe…
- As I stand here today, I feel….
- You’ve taught me….
Keep it short and sweet
While it’s likely you could go on for hours about how happy your relationship makes you and how serious you are about committing to your fiancée, the key to good wedding vows is to keep them short and sweet. In our experience, the best wedding vows are capped at one to two minutes max, which gives you just enough time to declare your most meaningful promises without dragging on. Remember that your celebrant or priest will be adding all the important, legal details so your vows only need to capture your most personal meaningful promises.
Be prepared on the day
When the big day finally arrives, come as prepared as possible to give your wedding vows. Practice saying your vows out loud at home first, or to a trusted member of your wedding party. Speaking them out loud will help you feel more comfortable when the big moment arrives, and you’ll be able to filter out any confusing or long sentences.
Have your vows written clearly or printed on a neat piece of paper that’s free from any scribbled-out words, notes or hard to read writing. If there’s a chance of rain, keep the paper safely in a clean plastic sleeve to avoid the ink running. Avoid reading your speech off of your phone, as there’s always the chance of your battery dying or someone trying to call you in the middle of making the most important declaration of your life.